too much for me...

Sunday night I couldn't go to sleep for the sake of me so I decided to do some thinking.
First thought: What do I want to do with my life?

• Well sadly, I don't know. I keep bouncing back and forth between career moves, I cant decide whether I want to get my own place or go off to school, and then I cant even decide on if I want to be in a relationship right now or not. what is a girl to do in a situation like this? I'm becoming drained

Second/sub thought: Do I need to be in a relationship right now?

• As I'm writing this now I'm thinking no. Sunday night, I didn't know. I really do love Nique but he isn't everything I want. Sometimes he doesn't hold me the right way or other times he just isn't saying what I want to hear. I'm starting to think that you really cant always get what you want but at the same time, you can always try. I'm honestly probably just scared to leave because I don't want to risk losing the right one. But what if I'm missing out on the right one? OMG this is terrible.

Final thought: Am I going to ever fall asleep?

• nope! LOL